Ass kicking…

In contrast to yesterday’s post, this is about something I think its going well right now. That, is being single. I know I can complain about being single…but I am in fact enjoying it. More than I used to at least.

There was a quote I used to think about near the end of my last relationship,”You can’t love someone else, until you love yourself”. That’s not to say I didn’t love my ex, because I did. It just means I needed to learn to love myself more than I did. I felt lost back then, I still do now but I think being alone has helped in a way. I’ve had time to myself, time to develop and improve as a person. So that the next time I fall in love (If I do) I can really give everything to that person.

So yeah, I’m happy right now. Being single is kicking ass ūüôā

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Improvements…

There’s a lot of things I aim to improve on…and I could palm you off on a less personal one like my photography skills but I’m being honest and open this month. One of the things I’m focusing on improving right now is myself. ¬†A blog I wrote this month was about three lessons I’d like to teach my children…but for me to teach anything to anyone else,¬†I have to be a better/more together person myself.

The main improvements always seem to lead back to one thing – finding myself. They say you can’t be truly happy until your happy alone. So I’m trying that. I’m alone…but I’m still lost. I think the problem is that I’m too alone. I open myself up to new people in some ways, but I never fully submerge myself. In a way I think that would help me. In a previous blog I’ve also mentioned about how complete strangers can help you find the right path you belong on, after being pushed around by the wind first. I think that’s what I need to try. So this is the first step to submerging myself to change for the better, and making a few personal improvements….so here’s to submerging and hoping to not drown…

Who Inspires You?

There’s been a lot of inspirational people in my life…all of them different.¬†There are those who have been there from birth like my mum, my dad and my sister. There are some who have developed inspiration over time, like lifelong¬†best¬†friends who are always there when they are needed most. There are those who are present for a period of time before moving on, like ex boyfriends, or lost friends. And then there are those who we randomly bump into in daily life, who can inspire us in such a short time and then disappear back into the world. No matter what the time period, people around us inspire us…and that inspiration can stay with us and effect us for years.

So this is basically a thank you, to everyone who has ever inspired me in my life so far. Collectively it has effected me and shaped me into the person I am today, and by doing so an unknown community has been made in a sense…which of course overtime will continue to grow.

I’d like to think I could have inspired some people who passed through my life too, but if not I shall aim to do it from now on!

A reason why I love films…

One thing that becomes more and more¬†clearer over the many years of watching films, is that films can unmask you. I’m not talking about the world knowing the truth about my life as batman… I’m talking more about emotions.

In my life so far I’d like to think I’ve covered majority, if not all of the girly RomComs out there. And let’s face it a RomCom doesn’t seem complete with a tear jerking moment in it, that reduces you to a blubbering mess in a matter of seconds. And that’s exactly the moment I’m talking about.

In a way because I love films so much I’d like to think there’s a lot of psychology behind the whole process, from the film you choose, to the ‘moment of impact’. Your emotions can make you do things subconsciously before you even realise what’s happening. So normally if i choose a lovey dovey film it’s either because I want to have the faith ‘the one’ is out there and is coming for me…or it’s because I’m having mental problems with people in my life…and by mental problems I normally mean me overthinking all of the wrong things.

But in a way that’s the beauty of these films. It can take your mind off the rest of the world, but at the same time also make you realise one of two things…either your a complete mess right now and you need to get your shit together. Or it can make everything seem so much clearer. Like you’ve just run into a brick wall with all the answers on.

Either way I have to admit I do enjoy both sides of it, sometimes everyone needs a little four hour cry to wake themselves up to push in the right direction…don’t they?

Plans for 2015

So 2015 has begun, and a number of questions will have entered people’s minds when the hangover had passed on new years… What will be different this year? What do I want to achieve? How can I be better? I thought about this, and have decided to devise a list of my own plans or even hopes for this year.

1. Pass my driving test – This is quite a big plan, and has been in my mind for a while. But now my test is in sight…I just hope I’ll pass first time.

2. Buy a car – This is really only if number one goes to plan. Can’t say I haven’t already started looking though in excitement though.

3. Travel More – I’ve mentioned this in a few of my other posts saying I want to travel, and explore the world. So this year I’m going to attempt to go somewhere new every month, even if it’s just for a couple of days.

4. Get Fitter – This is probably on a lot of people’s lists every year (mine included) but this year I’m really going to push myself. Running, circuit training, cycling, yoga, anything going really…maybe even a tough mudder.

5.Blog more – Write about anything and everything. Try not to focus only on topics I have a lot to say about, but also just everyday thoughts. So be prepared for some strange posts.

6. Try my hand at short films – I have a few ideas already scribbled down for short films, so this year I will attempt to put these online if possible.

7. Buy a better camera! – I love taking pictures, mainly of landscapes and sunsets as anyone could tell from my Instagram. But this year I’d like to try a professional side of it, and to do that I need a better and more expensive camera. This of course would also be helpful while creating short films, so that’s definitely a must have.

8. Possibly start a business – This may be an¬†aspiration too far, but I guess it will be a trial and error process. I plan to be more creative and because I love quotes so much I thought I’d try combine the two in some way. We will have to see though.

9.Be a better person – Last year I don’t think I personally tried as hard as I could have to be a good person. So this year I plan to try harder to see and speak to people I rarely see, to be kinder if people require help even if they don’t ask, and to just overall be more appreciative of the friends and family I have around me.

10. Find my way – This is the biggest one this year. I really don’t know what I want to do in life career wise. So I’m going to try everything that takes my interest. I won’t be following any specific paths…more taking opportunities that appear. Letting the wind blow me in any direction in other words. And I can honestly say that I’m excited for that. Trying new things, even revisiting past career options. Saying that…I know I may not find it this year, but I’ll try keep up hope.

That’s my main plans anyway, as well as just living life a bit better and more fuller. Maybe I’ll look over this post in a years time and see what I actually accomplished…

If you live long enough, you’ll make mistakes. But if you learn from them, you’ll be a better person. It’s how you handle adversity, not how it affects you. The main thing is never quit, never quit, never quit. – William J. Clinton

Finding your way back…

Not to get philosophical but sometimes in life you lose your way on the dusty path of life. No matter what happens to get you there, in the end you always have to attempt to pick yourself up before you get¬†suffocated¬†by the world. In the beginning it will always seem impossible, but you just have to keep trying. In my experience there are a few things¬†to bare in mind while trying to find your way back…

1. Don’t do it alone – In my opinion this is the most important. The easiest thing in your mind will be to block everyone out, but the easiest option is rarely the best option. You will always have people around you who will care about you. No matter how much you try to push them away the most loyal friends and family will be there for you especially when times are hard. So just speak your mind. A problem shared, is normally a problem halved and talking really helps. If you aren’t comfortable talking to a person then try a pet. After all, animals are the best listeners.

2. Do things that make you happy – Now this step doesn’t work for everyone. In some cases when people lose their way, they lose their way with everything. People, hobbies, everything they ever knew. The only thing you can do is try. Try and gain back the love and happiness you felt by doing certain things. So whether its a sport you used to be involved in, or just taking a simple stroll. Attempt to ease yourself back into it a bit at a time and maybe this will contribute to finding your way back.

3. Try exploring new things – this may be an alternative to number two or it may be an add on. When something serious¬†happens to make you lose your way, you may find it best to leave the old you behind and take an opportunity to reinvent yourself.¬†Even branch out to try something you’ve¬†always wanted to, but always had an¬†excuse not to. You should try. Maybe not all at once¬†but be as open minded as possible, as you never know what can happen and surprise you.

4. A¬†good diet – I ¬†know this seems unnecessary but as people say if you look after your body, it will look after you. It has been proven by a few studies that eating more healthily can instantly put you in a better mood due to a increase in serotonin levels. This suggests that if you eat better foods it may give you more motivation to get back out there, and into the world a day at a time. ¬†This may not be true for you…but you’ll never know unless you try. So if you stopped eating, start again. Or if your just eating junk food, stop and go get some real food which will probably also work out cheaper too.

5.Exercise – Now this is probably the last thing on your mind out of them all, but it could also be one of the most important. Although exercise may seem boring and tiring, after a while you will begin to see the benefits of it. Also the exercise you do doesn’t have to be strenuous. It could just be a bit of yoga for as little at 15 minutes a day. Anything really that will be useful to¬†you. This won’t only keep you busy, but it can motivate you to do more and also help you get you fitter as you go along which is always a benefit.

The final thing¬†I would suggest is to find a space of your own. This doesn’t mean move out of your family home or wherever your living. This could be a space anywhere, whether its big or small (it could even be a cupboard under the stairs). The main reason for having your own space is just so you have somewhere to go if the world begins to get too much again. Preferable it would be somewhere with a good view to put things into perspective, so maybe not under the stairs after all. Overall just remember there are a lot of problems in the world and a lot of people trying to fight them, but you really don’t have to do it alone.

“No life is a waste, the only time we waste is the time we spend thinking we’re alone.” – Mitch Albom, The Five People You Meet In Heaven.