What am I doing?

Ok so you may or may not have noticed that I haven’t posted a blog for a while, and there is a reason for this. Maybe not a great reason…but a reason none the less. That reason is that I’m trying to figure out what I want from life right now.

Being a 22 year old with no relationship and no real career can be a bit confusing. I have never been career minded. I’d have loved to have been, as I’d know exactly what I wanted to do and how to achieve it…but no point in dwelling on it. I have thought about it briefly before but I’ve never had a real wake up call until the other day, when I found out I might be losing my job (through no fault of my own I may add).

It has come to the time where my boss has decided he needs to make a change in the business. That change being he needs a full time supervisor, however to accommodate that…he needs to lose someone else on full time hours i.e: me. Now this may seem simple, I’m losing my job…find another one. But It’s not as simple as that…he doesn’t know when this will happen, as he still needs to find the full time supervisor. So my days seem limited there… I just don’t know how much time I have. I’m in no way angry with my boss, because after all you have to do what you need to for the sake of your business but anyway this lead me to the following thoughts…

I am 22. No significant other. No flat. And soon to be no job. The world is my oyster as they say…so what to do? I could find another job near my home, one with good hours, a good wage…which would then lead to me probably getting a flat, and maybe eventually a partner. OR I could think of this as a escape. With no real ties here (other than my family of course) I could leave the country for a bit. Get a job abroad and travel the world a bit, like I had planned to. I mean if I’m going to do it eventually, why not now? What’s stopping me? Providing I can figure out a way to either keep my car or end my finance on it I could go.

It’s just a big decision to make. A lot of things to take into consideration, but plenty of potential to finally do something that I will love. So that’s where I am right now. Just an update I guess, and to empty my head for a bit…

Amateur Photographer…

I’ve loved photography for as long as I can remember. Mainly taking photo’s of landscapes…or animals. Catching the light in a certain way so that a flare appears on the lens. Catching the excitement on a dogs face; as he waits patiently for a treat. Or even just capturing a moment, that can be saved for a lifetime. The camera, in my opinion, is one if not the best invention so far. The power it has in such a small body is incredible. The ability to share a moment all over the world, over generations, that occurred in just one second to never be repeated again.

Over the last  few months I’ve been attempting to improve my photography skills,  but I could never find the right method to learn. I tried reading about it, but it never sunk in. I even tried looking at online video’s, and although I understood some parts…there were other areas where i needed extra help that I couldn’t find through videos. Then as I was searching Groupon one day for a cheap getaway, I came across a online course by Shaw Academy called ‘Diploma in Photography’. The aim of the course was to teach me how to get out of automatic mode, while learning about the important of shutter speed, aperture and exposure.

So I enrolled online and in February I attended a live online course on Mondays and Wednesdays 7-8pm. It was amazing! I’m finally able to use my camera to it’s full ability, and now I can say I have a diploma in photography. I’m so happy! I still class myself as an amateur though, as I don’t exactly have the portfolio to go with my diploma…but I’m getting there. With a few more trips away I’m sure I’ll be there in no time!

If you’d like to see any of my photo’s I’ll leave some links below. 🙂

https://www.instagram.com/njo_photography/

www.facebook.com/NJOramPhotography

Make your own path

There’s a quote I come across a lot when looking at traveling, it goes…

Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail – Ralph Waldorf Emerson 

I find this quote really inspiring both for travelling and home life. For travelling I like the idea of going where no one else has gone before me. Like a astronaut exploring space. In my eyes why should we do the same thing day in day out, when we have the whole world at our feet to explore and just live. I think that’s one of the reasons why I fell in love with Iceland so easily, it gave me a sense of freedom to discover something new and I love that.

On the other hand though like I said I can also apply it to home life. Like I’ve mentioned before I’ve never really been career minded, but maybe that’s just because I haven’t seen the right career choice. Maybe if I created my own career (i.e make my own path) then I’d be career driven. It’s just finding something I really love doing, something that I’m unbelievably passionate about. Anyway I’ll keep wandering the earth, trying to find out how to create my own path. One day.

Life means hope…

“There should be no boundaries to human endeavour. We are all different. However bad life may seem, there is always something you can do, and succeed at. While there is life, there is hope.”

– Stephen Hawking

I think this quote is brilliant. Stephen Hawking is such an inspirational man for so many reasons, but for me personally this quote alone speaks volumes. We should always have hope. Hope for many of us, is what keeps us going in the darkest of times. We all go through rough patches, but as long as you have hope in something, even if it’s just one thing…you can get through it. Hope that you’ll find a new love, hope that you’ll eventually find a career that’s right for you, or even hope that you’ll find yourself after becoming lost in the world. It’s only when you lose hope in everything, that’s worrying…

We also have to remember that everyone is different. What’s right for one person, won’t necessarily be right for everyone. So we shouldn’t be disheartened by not being able to accomplish things in the same amount of time as our friends or peers. Everyone has their own path with their own timing. And if you ever get lost due to circumstance or even emotions than be brave enough to make a new path, others may even follow. Basically don’t lose hope, it will be there when no one else is. Have hope, and you will find your way to your success.

Improvements…

There’s a lot of things I aim to improve on…and I could palm you off on a less personal one like my photography skills but I’m being honest and open this month. One of the things I’m focusing on improving right now is myself.  A blog I wrote this month was about three lessons I’d like to teach my children…but for me to teach anything to anyone else, I have to be a better/more together person myself.

The main improvements always seem to lead back to one thing – finding myself. They say you can’t be truly happy until your happy alone. So I’m trying that. I’m alone…but I’m still lost. I think the problem is that I’m too alone. I open myself up to new people in some ways, but I never fully submerge myself. In a way I think that would help me. In a previous blog I’ve also mentioned about how complete strangers can help you find the right path you belong on, after being pushed around by the wind first. I think that’s what I need to try. So this is the first step to submerging myself to change for the better, and making a few personal improvements….so here’s to submerging and hoping to not drown…

An Unlikely Teacher

In life we learn a lot of lessons. Some are easy, some are hard and some…well you just don’t see them coming, especially from certain people. One lesson I’ve learnt the hard way, is pretty simple. Expect the unexpected. Nowadays I seem to think of all possible outcomes for certain scenarios…and I don’t think I used to do it. Whether that’s down to growing up, I’m not sure. But it’s a lesson you have to learn sooner or later. Whether it’s in love, a job, a friendship or even just family life…it happens and you can’t always trust the people you want to. So expect the unexpected BUT don’t let the fear hold you back in any way…

My Letter…

Dear Someone,

Having to write a random letter reminds me of the time I had to write letters to my ‘friends’ on animal crossing…even though I knew they didn’t understand english normally. Being set to write a letter with no topic is pretty hard. I never really know what to say. I could update you on how life is going in Natalie World…but to be honest there’s not a lot going on. I’m still single which isn’t really a bad thing, as right now I’m not sure I’m really capable of giving someone else emotional attention (this leads me into thinking I may be becoming a heartless bitch). I still have a cafe job…which isn’t really where I thought I’d be at twenty-two. It’s comfortable and nice, but it’s not really mind-blowing. I still live at home, which again is nice because I like seeing them everyday but at the same time I miss living alone at times. My money situation sucks, I have things to save for, things to pay off, holidays I want to go on, a new car I’d like but nowhere near enough money for any of them. Trying to find another job sucks! Most places won’t take me due to no experience in the area, and I always feel like any jobs that do actually want me are a step in the wrong direction to where I want to be. And on the social side of things most nights I’d rather be in bed watching tv, than going out and getting drunk with friends…like a lot of people my age. I’m just stuck I guess, and maybe set in my ways a bit in other areas. Not very interesting really…anyway until next time friend?

xx