WARNING! New Driver Alert!

I’ve been driving just over a month now, and I’m finally realising that what people said was actually true. You don’t really gain driving experience until after you pass your test. Sure you can know how to drive correctly. Pushing all the right buttons, at the right times. Checking your mirrors for overtaking, or just for people constantly on your ass. But once you’re in a car all by yourself, with no one talking in your ear…then and only then you realise what driving is really like.

I’m going to be honest with you the first month after passing my test was pretty scary. The first hiccup was the car. It’s an old car, with a difficult biting point. One which took the whole first month to actual master to some degree and understand what to do and when to do it. This led to my first embarrassing moment of being stuck on a tiny hill with no way of getting up it (at least no way for a new driver in an old car). I ended up having to reverse back down it after letting three cars go around me. Not the nicest way to ease myself into driving alone.

The second hiccup was lanes on new roads. I tried to push myself as fast as possible as I was already behind a lot of my friends in the ‘art’ of knowing how to drive. So I went onto roads I’d never driven on before in my lessons to get to the closest shopping centre that was near my home. Ahh which leads us onto embarrassing moment number two. Being stuck at the front of a queue trying to change lanes at the last-minute isn’t great. And with the number of annoyed drivers around you, staring at you in a despising way it doesn’t seem to make you feel better either. Luckily no one knew me.

The third hiccup was motorways. Now this has to be the worst thing so far. I mean overall it is just a straight route. The only thing that worries me is that the faster you go, obviously the worse off you be in an accident. Which is why I do my best to do everything right when I’m on a motorway. Abide by the speed limit, keep the right distance from other cars, and take care while changing lanes. But when a massive lorry decides to move over in front of me in the slow lane, after a late indication and leaving around about a 5 inch gap, it makes it a bit harder. And this is my issue. I can do my best to do everything right on a motorway, but I can’t control other people’s actions…and let’s face it…there’s some right idiots out there!

Ahh on the upside, I am loving being able to drive. The freedom, the opportunity, the control. I can go anywhere, whenever I want. So I guess this is the start of my life as a roadtripper…lets see where I end up…

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Future? What future?

Once upon a time I had a future in mind. One which the majority of girls and women have. Dreams of getting married, having babies, having my own family overall. However…this is something I personally no longer see. Now don’t get me wrong, yeah it’s still a nice idea in my mind…but it’s just a lost image at the minute.

I’m not sure why this is, it could be one of two things. When I fell in love for the first time (being young and stupid), that was in my mind because I thought love in general was the strongest emotion. Strong enough to last forever. That may have been true on my part but you never really know what the other person is thinking, and so it ended with the future plans lost and the realisation that the future I dreamt of was one-sided and also that I was very naïve to think like that.

Another reason this could be though is just due to the fact I have also realised I have other plans for my life. Like plans to explore the world. And with that in mind…along with my age, the idea of the ‘picture perfect future’ seems to get further and further away until it’s out of view. I mean for girls there’s always going to be a time limit for having healthy babies, and once you pass a certain age there are difficulties. So I guess in a way this is also a contributing factor.

I’m sure a lot of people go through life and experience the same difficulties (if I can even class it as that), as I am having. Don’t get me wrong I am completely happy with life right now even though some days don’t go to plan…but when someone asks me what my long-term plan/idea is or where I see myself in 5-10 years down the line. I honestly have no idea what the heck to say. Do I give the false answer of a lost future, or do I tell them honestly and in some way disappoint them. Whether this is a potential employer or even my grandma. It seems a lot of my posts tend to be about being lost in some ways, and I guess I am…but that’s what life’s about. Finding yourself and finding your way. At the moment I’m just going along with it the best I can, with a positive attitude hoping I’ll find my mindful future again. Happy Sunday!

“Time is not something you give back. The very next moment may be answer to your prayer. To deny that is to deny the most important part of the future.” – Mitch Albom, The Time Keeper.