Once upon a time I had a future in mind. One which the majority of girls and women have. Dreams of getting married, having babies, having my own family overall. However…this is something I personally no longer see. Now don’t get me wrong, yeah it’s still a nice idea in my mind…but it’s just a lost image at the minute.
I’m not sure why this is, it could be one of two things. When I fell in love for the first time (being young and stupid), that was in my mind because I thought love in general was the strongest emotion. Strong enough to last forever. That may have been true on my part but you never really know what the other person is thinking, and so it ended with the future plans lost and the realisation that the future I dreamt of was one-sided and also that I was very naïve to think like that.
Another reason this could be though is just due to the fact I have also realised I have other plans for my life. Like plans to explore the world. And with that in mind…along with my age, the idea of the ‘picture perfect future’ seems to get further and further away until it’s out of view. I mean for girls there’s always going to be a time limit for having healthy babies, and once you pass a certain age there are difficulties. So I guess in a way this is also a contributing factor.
I’m sure a lot of people go through life and experience the same difficulties (if I can even class it as that), as I am having. Don’t get me wrong I am completely happy with life right now even though some days don’t go to plan…but when someone asks me what my long-term plan/idea is or where I see myself in 5-10 years down the line. I honestly have no idea what the heck to say. Do I give the false answer of a lost future, or do I tell them honestly and in some way disappoint them. Whether this is a potential employer or even my grandma. It seems a lot of my posts tend to be about being lost in some ways, and I guess I am…but that’s what life’s about. Finding yourself and finding your way. At the moment I’m just going along with it the best I can, with a positive attitude hoping I’ll find my mindful future again. Happy Sunday!
“Time is not something you give back. The very next moment may be answer to your prayer. To deny that is to deny the most important part of the future.” – Mitch Albom, The Time Keeper.