A life without love…

There’s a phrase “A life without love, isn’t a life at all” and as silly as it may sound for a 24 year old to say, I firmly believe this right now. For someone who has been in love, and been completely infatuated with it, I can say that for me personally when your out of love and even as far away from the prospect of being in love as you can be…you get to the point where you can feel like you aren’t living. Not to sound too sad. Maybe a better way to put it, is not living life with 100%…does that make more sense?

I’m not saying I’m going to jump into any relationship just in the hope I find the thing we call love, I’m not that kind of person. If anything the truth is that I’m extremely reserved right now. It would be nice to open up to just one person again. To have one person that knows all your inner most thoughts. That’s not to say I’m closed off to everyone. To the people closest to me, they know a lot, maybe even some stuff that no one should know…but then if you looked deeper it could be seen as if palming them off with completely useless facts to throw them off the scent of what is really going on in my head or even life.

I’d like to think that I’m seen on the outside as a woman who is desired but can’t really be caught or tied down, like an unattainable woman of mystery. When in reality I am probably just seen as stuck up and rude or something else along them lines. The truth is I’m just waiting for something amazing to come along, or for the right one to work their way in…someone to take a chance on I guess (wow…sounding like a Disney princess right now). With all that said, I’m actually okay with not having that at the moment. The need for a relationship isn’t strong enough for me to just dive into the first thing I find. Not to mention realistically there’s other things I need to prioritise first.

This is just something I’ve been thinking about, and like I said not having someone to share your inner thoughts with sometimes sucks. I’ve even considered changing this blog into more of a diary when I don’t have much else to write about. After all what’s most important when writing a diary? Honesty. And that I can do.

Summer Goals!

Summer is here once again, and out of all the seasons July is my favourite…maybe because I was born in this month. So to kickstart it, I’ve made a list of my summer goals!

-Go out more! ~ I am slowing becoming more and more of a hermit crab and it really needs to stop, everyone says your 20’s are the years for living life to the full and to be honest…I’m wasting them.
– Drink more ~ For a normal 23 year old I don’t drink as half as much as I should…and for a single 23 year old It’s even worse…plus if your going to drink in any month it might swell be my birthday month!
– Take more chances (for example in love) ~ Ugh. That’s the only thing I can say. I just need to.
– Go on adventures ~ Walking, hiking, driving, flying, heck even some of my dreams could have more adventures.
– Try running again ~ I tried this a few weeks ago for the first time in years. It hurt a lot…but I just need to persevere.
– Finish my book ~ Due to my current obsession with Netflix it’s hard to make time for anything else…but I started a book so this month, I. Shall. Finish. It!
– Go to a spa ~ I still haven’t been to a spa yet and heck I deserve some pampering! So where better to do it?
– Be better with money ~ I have been in my overdraft for ages now, so I really need to sort my sh*t out…like pronto.
– Be reckless ~ I mean I feel like this is self explanatory after my other points…I mean you could even say this list is a bit reckless due to not making this 10 bullet points and only 9…😜

Music and Men

The other day I was in my car driving for about an hour with the radio on. On the radio the station was going though a variety of songs from the last few years, when the realisation hit that there was a number of songs that linked to my past. To be more precise they linked to men of my past.

You see memories are a funny thing. When they are created they can be linked to the silliest things like a certain scent or a location…but for me it seems to be music. I listen to music a lot. So when I listen to certain songs, sometimes the lyrics seem to fit the current situation perfectly and therefore the song then links to that person…or it could just be a case that the song was popular at that time and the radio played it constantly while I was around them. 

Anyway like songs, men come and go through life. I guess it just depends if they turn out to be a one hit wonder or a classic that never gets old. But no matter what, when a certain song from the past hits my ears, the memories will play over in my mind of my relationship with that person. In some ways it’s good, and in some ways its bad…but memories are memories. Sometimes it’s nice to look back at what once was…

I wonder if anyone reading this knows their song…heck I wonder what songs people would link to me!

“The past is a good place to visit, but certainly not a good place to stay.”

A night at the cinema…

I don’t know wether it’s due to my heart being a gentle soul or the fact that I’m a girl and we have a lot of hormones…or it could be just down to the genes I’m made up from. But for me going to the cinema or the theatre is a rollercoaster…when it comes to emotions at least.

Depending on what film or performance you go to see, you can experience love, passion, anger, fear, amusement, and of course sadness…all within the space of a couple of hours! When you think about it, all of them emotions you have just experienced is a bit like the emotions you could feel over a two year relationship…which in my opinion is pretty impressive to say the least. The ability to manipulate your feelings, to apply it to the current situations of the main character. Not to mention you could do it all over again the following day or even the following week. Learning a new story everytime, through observing other’s lives (well, acted out lives). Experiencing all of that through emotions, basically without the actual impact of drama of it all.

It’s all pretty incredible…but of course if we only ever lived through films and performances, then we’d never really allow ourselves the chance to actually live. Which you know, is what life is really about. Living, experiencing, feeling. Let’s be honest though…It’s perfect if you need an escape for a hour or two.

Deception

Life is hard sometimes. The other day I was daydreaming, finding a way to escape reality for a while, when I spotted a tiny spider working on a web. It was carefully creating this perfect and fragile little spider web, putting so much love and dedication into a home for one. I was so captivated by its beauty and patience. In that moment it was just me and that little spider in the world. The spider devising a place to call home, and me the onlooker to this beautiful creation.

Just as I was considering this and taking it all in…a figure behind me took notice of us sharing this moment and with one swift movement ripped the spider’s little web in half. I was devastated. How heartless. The lesson to learn here is that there’s monsters everywhere…even disguised as friends.

Credit to Georgina for being the figure that broke a happy home.

The Intern…

I first put this film on as a bit of a whim, as it had just been added to NowTV and I love a bit of Anne hathaway…and a bit of comedy, so I thought why not.

When it started I just thought it would really be a bit of background noise while I was doing other things, as it didn’t really capture me as much as I’d of liked. But once it got into it, I became more and more involved in the storyline.

It basically centres around a guy that’s retired, (without giving too much away) that finds life a bit boring. So he basically gets a job as a senior intern for a fashion company, not really sure as to what he’s doing but with tons of enthusiasm to learn pretty much anything and everything. Although the boss wasn’t entirely on board with this idea, he eventually works his way into the hearts of his colleagues and most importantly his boss…while tackling a few issues along the way (obviously).

Overall I really enjoyed the film. I found it had a refreshing storyline, mainly due to the usual roles being reversed. It really made a good watch, because let’s be honest the repeated storylines get a bit boring after a while. I don’t think I could fault this film really. The main casts were a great choice, and the roles were portrayed just the way they were intended.

I’d definitely recommend anyone to watch this if they like comedy films. Plus I mean who doesn’t like a bit of Robert De Niro…I actually think I have a new-found love for him now after watching this film…I might even look into other films he’s been in that I haven’t watched yet! We shall see…

The Theatre…

I’ve always seen going to the theatre as a magical experience. There’s just so much it offers, in comparison to watching a film. I mean for starters there’s the environment. The uniqueness of the theatre building’s. The Victorian architecture; leaving the thought in the back of your mind about all of the generations that have sat there before you, seeing possibly the same production, with just a different cast and a few tweaks here and there and a modernised set.

Not only that but I think the theatre as a whole has such an amazing ability to create a community out of people, you’d never expect to be together. The different ages, backgrounds, everything…all these people brought together for one purpose, that being to see this particular show. The jumbled voices of everyone speaking before the show begins, then as soon as the light drops the audience almost in unison comes to a silence eagerly awaiting the start of the introduction music. I just think it’s incredible.

The whole atmosphere of the theatre during the show, leaves me speechless. Everyone’s undivided attention due to everyone respecting the no phones request of the staff. The dramatic build up of applause at the end of each scene. The feeling of showing so much appreciation to the whole cast and everyone who takes part to make the production what it is. I really think it’s nice to be able to go to the theatre even if it’s not very often. Just to see the comparison of how we kind of lose ourselves not only in technology but just in the world. If people showed that kind of appreciation everyday to people just doing everyday things…it’d definitely make everyone’s day a bit nicer.

Even just talking about it makes me love it even more…I guess that’s why I wanted to go into theatre myself…the passion’s still there it seems. ❤️

 

The sad truth…

*There’s a lot of people in this world who choose to only go skin deep*

I don’t have a lot of friends, as sad as that may sound. The ones I do have, have lives and I get that. But when you step back and realise that no one really knows you…you’ve got to admit that’s a bit sad aha. On the outside I’m a happy character. Working with customers you seem to build up a wall, a character to some extent…after all who wants to buy anything from someone who looks like they don’t want to be there. But I’m so tired of it. I know I’m selfish to some extent, I’ll ask someone how they are and if they say they’re fine…I’ll probably just reply good. But it sucks. In this society it’s as if we’re all on auto pilot, when really it’s the people in this world that makes it worth living, if you just take time to pay attention.

“So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they’re busy doing things they think are important. This is because they’re chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning.”

Mitch Albom, Tuesdays with Morrie

Me before you…

I’m a sucker for a love story. As soon as I saw the trailer for this film, I was hooked. I knew I had to see it…and today was that day. As someone who is in love with love stories you have to get your priorities in order. Now the first thing you have to work out is if its going to be upsetting in parts. If it is, you need to choose your company wisely. After all you do NOT want to go with someone who has never seen you cry before. This means this is defiantly not a film for first dates…unless of course they are ‘into’ sweaty, blotchy, crying women…in which case run away before you guarantee a second date they may be a bit too weird. So grab any of your girlfriends, get to the cinema, and be ready to fall in love, have your heartbroken and feel the need to live your life fuller than ever…all in the space of an hour and fifty.

If there’s anything that this film gives to you, it’s courage. Courage to live your life, fall in love again, explore the world, and most importantly take chances…or at least that’s what I got from it. Everything about this film for me was perfect from the story line to the director and especially the actors, it was just perfect. The performances given by Emilia Clarke and Sam Claflin were amazing! The belief and passion in their eyes for each other was remarkable, even that was enough to make anyone believe in the story. Maybe even a little bit too much…now the only thing the women who have watched this film need is for it to happen in real life.