Oopsie

As people, throughout our lives we will hit walls. Not physically but mentally. And I don’t know whether it’s due to getting older or having a lot of time on my hands by having no social life and no relationship…but with more time you notice a lot more. These are small things that generally go unseen to people with busy lives. But it’s one of them things that once you see it, you can’t unsee it.

Now I’ve been single for almost two years now (a long time yeah), and to be honest I don’t hate it. I’m by no means living my life how a single person should live their life, and I’m attempting to tackle that in my own way but that’s not really what this blog is about. This blog is really about sorting out and getting my life in order before that and probably doing a lot of venting to make myself feel better and put my mind at ease a bit.

The first thing I really want to rant about, is being sick of people’s shit. That doesn’t sound as bad as it is. Like yeah I get everyone has problems, heck I’m probably one of the best people to be considerate of that. But once you’ve been mugged off (yes I’ve been watching Geordie shore, so I’m picking up the lingo of a cool Newcastle kid) anyway, once you’ve been mugged off by one friend and someone points it out, it’s only then when you realise it and then in turn see how everyone else has in their own way followed suit.

I mean yeah I understand I’m not the best friend in the world, I cancel plans due to anxiety issues and I won’t always let on. But fuck me, not to toot my own horn but I remember details no one else will bother, I am one of the most loyal and considerate people you could ever meet. Given the chance I will open up as much as possible to anyone that has the time, and will listen and help in any way I can in return. But I’m getting to the point where I really don’t see the point. I don’t want to stop being the way I am because I think it’s a good thing. I mean I’ve already got close to the point where I don’t really see the point in letting any relationships come close to me. But when friends drop you, and start being short with you and ignoring you…what the hell is the actually point. People even do it without realising it.

I think this has been building up inside me for a while now and I’m just done. I don’t even know what else to say. Fuck it.

“Maybe it’s not life that sucks. Maybe it’s just the people you let in your life that suck.” – Unknown

 

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Plans for a family? 😕

I know I did a blog about babies the other day so I’m going to keep this short and sweet. I already have a a family and they are brilliant. Always there when I need them, always supportive even when I mess up. Yeah I would like ‘a family of my own’ one day but right now I’m just focusing on the family I have, and that’s how it should be 😁. 

My Zodiac Sign

I was born on the 16th of July, so my star sign is Cancer. One of the definitions for the cancer zodiac sign is…

Cancerians love home-life, family and domestic settings. They are traditionalists, and enjoy operating on a fundamental level. They love history, and are fascinated with the beginnings of things (heraldry, ancestry, etc.). The moon is their ruler, so they can be a bit of a contradiction and sometimes moody. However, they are conservative, so they’ll be apt to hide their moods from others altogether. They have a reputation for being fickle, but they’ll tell you that isn’t true, and it’s not. Cancerians make loyal, sympathetic friends. However Cancerians need alone time, and when they retreat, let them do so on their terms.

This was taken from the site: http://www.whats-your-sign.com/zodiac-signs-and-meanings.html.

I can actually see myself in this description quite a bit. I love being at home, and spending time with my family and offering support where I can…nowhere is like home. I am also interested in history to a degree, and would love to try to create a family tree at some point in my life…however I expect there will be some family secrets that will be uncovered deep down. On the lines of the whole hiding moods thing, I do this at times…sometimes without even realising. It’s just a coping mechanism overall. I’m not sure about the whole loyal and sympathetic part. I do try but whether I actually come across like this is a different thing, we can try to do something nice but than be portrayed in a different way. Then in regards to the final thing mentioned… I do like alone time, more so now then ever before…and sometimes if I don’t get it, it can start to feel a bit suffocating. Strange how a generalisation can be quite relevant at times I guess…