10 things that make me happy!

  1. Food. I love food, even when I’m down it can make me happy. Especially chocolate cake…with cream…and marshmallows. Yeaahhh. 
  2. Films. I have a huge obsession with films. All variety’s, even the occasional documentaries. I like films with information in too, so I can learn new things as I’m being entertained. So films about the war, or even the stock market interest me.
  3. Emoji’s. I’m an apple user, and one of the biggest upsides of that is the built-in emojis. I love them! I use them in most messages, to cheer people up or even to be cheered up. My favourite one at the minute has to be the skull 💀. Just because sometimes I have no response, or I like to show that I’m done with the conversation.
  4. Facetime. Linking to the previous ‘apple praise’, facetime is also a built in app I love. Sometimes just a phone call isn’t enough, and I like the feeling of hanging out with someone without being physically present. Especially when your either ill or just down.
  5. Coffee. This is a relatively new thing that makes me happy. Because although I’ve worked with coffee since I was 16 I never really drunk it. However recently I’ve been drinking it more, and it gives me a nice boost to start my day.
  6. Photography. I’ve always liked doing this, but recently I’ve begun to attempt making it more professional, I’m just starting out but for the minute it’s making me happy. So I’ll see where that ends up. Here’s a link to the Facebook page if your interested. www.facebook.com/NJOramPhotography
  7. Travelling. Although I have plans to travel, right now I’m only talking about Iceland. I’ve been to Iceland twice now and each time I fall in love. The atmosphere, the environment, the people, everything. In the future I genuinely think I’d move there.
  8. Driving. I know I’ve only been driving for a few months, but if i ever feel like i need to get out…my car is always there. Ready and waiting to take me as far as my petrol tank will allow it. It’s a permanent escape route.
  9. My guinea pig. I have a few animals in my house, but the one that makes me happy most right now is my guinea pig. I mean I love my cat to pieces but…I doubt he feels the same. But with George I can get him out and all he’ll want to do is cuddle. Which is perfect when you have a anti-social cat…
  10. Mitch Albom. I know I talk about his work a lot on my blog, and also throw in his quotes but the books he writes are just…brilliant. In a way he clears my mind, and I can’t wait to start the next one. My only question is who do I move onto after I’ve read them all.

A Desperate Heart…

“A desperate heart will seduce the mind” – Mitch Albom

I know I’m going back to Mitch Albom once again, but I honestly love his work. I think he is so smart, and speaks so much truth. For me Mitch Albom is my Morrie Schwartz.

When reading ‘The Time Keeper’ this quote in particular hit me the hardest. I haven’t always been the best version of myself, neither have people around me. But in times of need we lead ourselves to believe we deserve the love we get. When in reality that love could be fake or even doing more harm than good. I know all advice in life starts with the saying ‘follow your heart’ but to be honest your heart isn’t always right. Especially when its fragile or even being manipulated.

In the start of a relationship sometimes you can see it as an escape from bad stuff in other areas of your life…but at some point it can change. Maybe to the extent of the relationship having the opposite effect, and can even do more emotional damage rather than be emotional support. And this can of course be due to a number of reasons. I mean no situation is exactly the same. This ties into a different quote… “We accept the love that we think we deserve.” 

For some reason at some point in life, our minds may tell ourselves that we aren’t good enough. Whether it’s a physical thing or a mental thing. It can happen, and it may not even give you any warning (which of course sucks). You might just not have any self-confidence in yourself, leading you to choose to stay in that situation because of fear. I know you may think choice doesn’t come into it when it’s up against a fear. Fear you won’t find better, fear you aren’t good enough for anyone or anything but you are. If you spoke to friends or family they would tell you exactly that. You are good enough, you are better, and you should never, ever allow anyone to make you feel like your not.

The main point of this post is you have to realise. That’s the first step. Realise you’re in a bad situation and be brave enough to get yourself out of it and get back on the road to recovery. It could be a case that it isn’t even that bad of a situation, and there could be a solution to make the situation better… but If you think you can relate to this post in any way, listen to me when I say this you deserve better. So don’t let your desperate heart seduce your mind, it might be hard at first but you aren’t alone at all. There will be a whole support system you just haven’t uncovered yet.

That’s just my take on the quote anyway, everyone’s view will be different…maybe I thought too much into it *blushes*. Ohh well 🙂

Secrets

Within every family…there will be secrets. Whether they are good ones, bad ones, or just really, really pointless ones. Never the less they are secrets. Simple as that. Hidden from people for some reason. It could be to protect them, not to worry them, or to just keep them out of it altogether.

Most of the time though after however long the secret is kept for…it eventually comes out in one way or another. And after this has happened both parties are left feeling a little bit shit about themselves and a bit distanced.

Now I’m not saying I’m completely against keeping secrets…I mean some things in certain situations, with certain people have to be kept like that. But when It is family, I think the important things are best told…to immediate family at least. I mean they are the ones that will be able to help and even offer support if need be.

That’s just my opinion anyway…rant over.

 “Sticking with your family is what makes it a family” – Mitch Albom, For One Day More.

Career? What Career?

Career: An occupation undertaken for a significant period of a person’s life and with opportunities for progress…

When you reach a certain age, the question that people will begin to ask you is…so what do you want to do with your life? It seems that people expect you to know this for definite by the time you leave college, and definitely by the end of university!

For me…this seems to have always been a problem. I’ve never been that bothered about a career. I obviously know I need to have one to earn money in order to survive. But I’ve just never been focused enough to find one I am really passionate about. Yeah I’m passionate about drama. Devising my own performance, even occasionally writing a script. But as many of us know that’s a difficult area to get into, with many different directions to go in. It just comes down to choosing.

I’ve worked in cafe’s since I was 16. I know a lot about coffee and working for Starbucks also expanded my knowledge on this. But every so often I think a change needs to be made. A change to try something new, experience something different. I think this may be a reason why I have never been that career focused. I always like a change. Which is all fair enough…until someone asks you what you want to do. Then you are just left with their confusion and shock of how you don’t know.

Some people seem to have it all figured out, others think its okay to find your way later on. But they don’t seem to understand the frustration and need for me to be able to figure it out now. I know I won’t be able to and that all I can do is try. But to be perfectly honest…it sucks.

Dream Slut…

So in every relationship there are funny moments…yesterday I realised one of mine.

Now before I go ahead with this post I’d just like to say, I wouldn’t normally let anyone get away with calling me a slut…but on this occasion I’ll let it slide (although I shall begin planning my revenge).

I was talking to my boyfriend in the car and happened to mention about a dream I had the previous night where I slept with a YouTuber. You may think why would I tell him that? That reason being because I thought he would find this funny seen as he creates videos online too, and we both aspire to become YouTubers…however it appears I was wrong.

Now I admit this isn’t the first time I’ve willingly slept with someone in a dream…or even told him about it. And I say willingly because in a previous post I mentioned I occasionally have the ability to realise I’m in a dream and therefore can adapt it to suit me. Surprisingly he can also do the same. So because of that little fact, he felt it was acceptable to give this ‘twatish’ response…

He claimed that he also had a similar dream the previous night where a young lady had began to come onto him in a club, and lure him into her boudoir. However being the chivalrous and noble gentleman he is, he rejected her by informing her he had a girlfriend. Unlike and I quote! “The dream slut” he had in his car…

Within minutes the car we were travelling in became a comical couples courtroom, in which we were both fighting our sides of who was the better partner. Of course no one won as it was all built on sarcasm, but the overall point to be made here in this otherwise pointless blog post is simply…don’t take life too seriously. Funny little moments in relationships are the best, and you can always look back on them to brighten your day.

“People are only mean when they are threatened.” – Mitch Albom, Tuesdays With Morrie.

Hopes for love…

The 1997 film Titanic taught me a lot about love. Being a young age when it came out on ‘video’ means this was the first real influence I had about a different type of love. Much different from the love between family members. In fact to be specific it showed me two different types of love.

The first and most evident is the love between Jack and Rose. I call this the ‘Dreamers Love’, quite simply because those who dream of finding and keeping love mainly have this type in mind. The kind of love where you heart skips a beat whenever they enter the room, where they make you forget everyone and everything around you and where most of all you’ll do everything you can to be with and stay with that person. Throughout the film we see this, and through the scenes shared with Rose’s mother or Cal we can see a very strong contrast between the love she receives and the love she wants and deserves.

The second type of love you see in Titanic is a controlling kind of love. Where it appears only one person is in love, and therefore has a lot of anger towards the other. However I’m sure Cal’s actions towards Rose isn’t just because she doesn’t love him. As Cal has a lot of money (meaning lots of power), he believes he also has the ability to control everyone around him by buying them. Which is no kind of love I particularly desire, and in the end he realises that love doesn’t work like that. That eventually the person being forced into submission will always break free.

I think this film in particular influenced a lot of people of all ages and all over the world about their views on love. Not just because of the story line and the characters, but also due to the actors relationships. Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet clearly have a great bond and friendship, which allowed them to work together comfortably meaning the overall relationship between the characters Jack and Rose was very believable. In a way I think many couples would aspire to be like that, maybe more so from a females point of view.

The main thing I personally took from the film is how love can be, but not always is… maybe this is just me being overly hopeful, but I don’t think anyone should settle for any less than what Jack and Rose portrayed. You may not find love as soon as you want to, but don’t give up. I believe everyone can find something like this. Someone who can save you from the worst situations possible (maybe not literally like Jack but you get the idea). Keeping searching…

“Love each other or perish,” Morrie Said. “It’s good, no? And it’s so true. Without love, we are birds with broken wings.” – Mitch Albom, Tuesdays with Morrie.

Mitch Albom

At the start of this year I was trying to escape a rough patch. During this time I would find myself constantly shopping. The reason for this is not clear. As while I was going through this patch, the last thing I really wanted was to be around people. Which doesn’t make sense as shops are obviously always full of people. Unless of course I broke in at night…which is something I would never consider doing as I’d probably end up in jail, with no get out jail free card. [slight tangent…]

Anyway one of the shops I’d mostly find myself in (other than clothes shops) was book shops. Maybe this was so I could escape the noise of other shops for a while, and give myself a little break. Anyhow as I was looking on one of the “best books of the week” tables. I noticed the title ‘The First Five People You Meet In Heaven’ by Mitch Albom. Now for me personally I’ve never been religious. I was never christened or baptised, nor never attended church unless it was compulsory by my primary school. However I have always been open to the idea of a place we go to when we die, not necessarily heaven or hell but a place.

This has to be one of the best books I think I’ve ever had the pleasure of reading. It was so inspiring and uplifting. If anything it gave me guidance without meaning to. Since then I have been hooked on his books. I feel that each of Mitch Albom’s books teaches me something new. A new life lesson to support my own life journey. I personally think everyone could find something within Mitch Albom’s books. So therefore I recommend them to everyone. Everyone and anyone who stumbles across this post. Mitch Albom is a wise and inspirational writer and I think everyone could do with a bit of Mitch in their life.

“Maybe it was a grandparent, or a teacher, or a colleague. Someone older, patient and wise, who understood you when you were young and searching, helped you see the world as a more profound place, gave you sound advice to help you make your way through it.” – Mitch Albom, Tuesdays with Morrie.

Future? What future?

Once upon a time I had a future in mind. One which the majority of girls and women have. Dreams of getting married, having babies, having my own family overall. However…this is something I personally no longer see. Now don’t get me wrong, yeah it’s still a nice idea in my mind…but it’s just a lost image at the minute.

I’m not sure why this is, it could be one of two things. When I fell in love for the first time (being young and stupid), that was in my mind because I thought love in general was the strongest emotion. Strong enough to last forever. That may have been true on my part but you never really know what the other person is thinking, and so it ended with the future plans lost and the realisation that the future I dreamt of was one-sided and also that I was very naïve to think like that.

Another reason this could be though is just due to the fact I have also realised I have other plans for my life. Like plans to explore the world. And with that in mind…along with my age, the idea of the ‘picture perfect future’ seems to get further and further away until it’s out of view. I mean for girls there’s always going to be a time limit for having healthy babies, and once you pass a certain age there are difficulties. So I guess in a way this is also a contributing factor.

I’m sure a lot of people go through life and experience the same difficulties (if I can even class it as that), as I am having. Don’t get me wrong I am completely happy with life right now even though some days don’t go to plan…but when someone asks me what my long-term plan/idea is or where I see myself in 5-10 years down the line. I honestly have no idea what the heck to say. Do I give the false answer of a lost future, or do I tell them honestly and in some way disappoint them. Whether this is a potential employer or even my grandma. It seems a lot of my posts tend to be about being lost in some ways, and I guess I am…but that’s what life’s about. Finding yourself and finding your way. At the moment I’m just going along with it the best I can, with a positive attitude hoping I’ll find my mindful future again. Happy Sunday!

“Time is not something you give back. The very next moment may be answer to your prayer. To deny that is to deny the most important part of the future.” – Mitch Albom, The Time Keeper.

 

Dreaming Days Away…

Sometimes…I prefer dreaming to reality.

In dreams anything can happen. You have no worries of money, no thoughts of the future, nothing. In a way it’s like being a child again, unaware of the outside world and all the bad alongside it. It can also allow you the freedom to live in the moment with no restrictions…living in the moment but outside reality. Of course these are all good dreams. Nightmares on the other hand are very different. In some cases it can even put fears you never knew you had into your everyday life, bringing them alive. So it’s best to just keep them away, or even invest in a dream catcher to prevent bad dreams!

The main beauty I find in dreams is that you can occasionally adapt them or even control them, given that you realise you are dreaming. Which occasionally is something that I can do. This is also quite helpful in nightmares though, I mean if your being chased by a zombie you can imagine a gun in your pocket and boom….shot it right in the head. Problem Solved.

Dreaming is just another of my many attempts to escape from reality. Something I see to do a lot of the time…but life can’t wait forever.

“All that happens when your dreams come true is a slow, melting realization that it wasn’t what you thought.” – Mitch Albom, For One Day More.

Morning walk!

Being woken up by my mum on a Sunday morning at five to eight would normally get a bad response. Luckily this morning I was in a good mood! I had a good sleep, barely anything on my mind and good plans for the day. The walk lasted around about an hour, just enough time for the rain from the previous night that hung on the grass and sparkled in the sun to dry up.

Sometimes it’s the simple things in life that can make your day a bit brighter. Hope you all have a good morning, and if you do go for a walk…walk in quiet places!

“I think what you notice most when you haven’t been home in a while is how much the trees have grown around your memories.” – Mitch Albom, Tuesdays With Morrie.