Things Customers Do…

So I’m sure a lot of us, for at least even part of our lives has worked in customer service. And let’s be honest even though we may like our jobs…there are times when customers can be annoying as shizzle. So I decided to write a ‘short’ list of things customers do that really…make our day. Enjoy! (Just a side note these are thing’s that mainly happen in the catering side of customer service.)

1.  Customers explaining how to do something…we pretty much do everyday. Look I may look young, but surprisingly I know how to do my job so unless I really look like I’m struggling (in which case I’d ask a colleague and not customer) just keep notes or suggestions to yourself.

2. Customers walking past things and then waiting for us to get them for them. I mean let’s be honest you know, and I know you clocked the knives and forks before you went and sat down. So do us both a favour and maybe pick them up? Especially if we’re already running round like headless chickens.

3. People asking for ‘instant’ coffee. If you come into a cafe where we have a hella expensive coffee machine, and attempt to practice latte art…please just don’t ask for instant. If you really want instant coffee you can pick up a bag from a supermarket, for a cheaper price then what we would charge anyway. I mean to me it just doesn’t make sense.

4. People leaving a mess and not even attempting to clean up a bit. Maybe this is a bit tedious but if I went out with my children (not that I have any) and I ordered a cheese sandwich for my child to which they then decided to make it look like the cheese sandwich  turned into a volcano and erupted everywhere…I’d at least have the decency to try to clear it up a bit…or maybe even just say I’m really sorry my kid’s made quite a bit of mess under that table to one of the staff members. You know just out of respect.

5. Complaining to staff about pricing. Ughhhhhhhhhhh. Yes I know it’s expensive, yes I know back in the day you could get the same thing for about a third of the price, and yes you could go elsewhere and get it cheaper. But to be completely honest surprisingly I have literally NO CONTROL over the pricing. I am not the boss, heck I’m not even the manager. So please do not complain to me. If your that unhappy please create a time machine and travel backwards to when things weren’t so expensive, and while your there please get me an alcoholic beverage for £1. Thank you.

6. Snatching the drink so it spills right at the last second. Look I like making coffee, heck sometimes I’ll even do that little bit extra to make a cute ass leaf on top. Then I will carefully carry my pride and joy over to your table without spilling one little bit. So please do not then snatch the drink out of my hand, causing it to spill and turn my leaf into a mess. I don’t particularly appreciate it.

7. Letting your child scream bloody murder while you continue to chat to your friend at the top of your voice. Look I know mothering can be hard, and I know you’ve probably been up on your feet since 5am or maybe even majority of the night. But please, please, please, please, try to calm your child down. We have customers who complain to us, we can’t focus fully on work we’re trying to do and to be honest I don’t particularly think your kid’s having the time of its life either. I mean heck even if you asked a member of staff to attempt to help, I’m sure we’d try our best.

Now I know it sounds like I have a lot of negatives about working in this job but on the other hand you know we have nice regulars, coffee on tap, cake on discount and maybe even a cheeky bit of eye candy occasionally…so I guess it’s not all bad!

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5 Little Things…

There’s a lot of things that make me laugh…sometimes I even laugh over nothing. But it takes something special to make me laugh out loud.

The first thing I can think of is: Memories. Now I have to admit majority of these are embarrassing memories. Like the number of times I’ve physically walked into a wall time or the time I threw up purple puke at the Blue Lagoon…and on that note I shall move on…

The next thing is Animals. And for this one I just thank the lord for YouTube! I’ve mentioned this before, but I can sit for hours watching Animals videos. They just do the most stupid and funniest things. From the No no no cat to the talking dog video. I may even go as far to say this is a past time of mine that I pass down to my children.

Onto Number Three. Friends. Being a weird person, I tend to make friends with weird people. And that in itself can brighten up anyones day! From strange accents, to weird dances with a mop. Whenever I have a rough day I know they are there to get me close to peeing my pants with laughter.

Fourth on the List is Accidents. This one can be quite childish at times. It involves a lot of those moments where you know you shouldn’t laugh…but you do. The most common causes are: people slipping off the curb, hitting themselves in the face, or just walking into things. It’s ridiculous because if I did it I wouldn’t want people laughing…but It’s a natural response I guess.

The final thing that makes me laugh uncontrollably is Comedians. Now this mights be an obvious answer…but what is a comedian without the ability to make you laugh unexpectedly. My two favourite Comedians are Lee Evans and Michael McIntyre. I don’t know why but I seem to prefer male comedians…a lot of woman comedians just don’t seem to hit the spot. That might change the more I watch them though…so we will see.

It’s a strange thing laughter, sometimes you can’t control it, sometimes it’s polite and then other time’s it’s forced…You can never quite tell…

Three lessons to teach my children…

There’s a lot of lessons I’d like to teach my children, but I think if I can teach them these three thing I will have succeeded in some way in regards to parenthood.

1. Never judge a book by its cover.

2. Never let anyone make you feel bad for being who you are.

3. If you ever feel lost in life, don’t worry there’s always people around you, who love you who can point you in the right direction.

(And being polite while having manners goes without saying.)

“Treat everyone with politeness, even those who are rude to you – not because they are nice, but because you are.”