Oopsie

As people, throughout our lives we will hit walls. Not physically but mentally. And I don’t know whether it’s due to getting older or having a lot of time on my hands by having no social life and no relationship…but with more time you notice a lot more. These are small things that generally go unseen to people with busy lives. But it’s one of them things that once you see it, you can’t unsee it.

Now I’ve been single for almost two years now (a long time yeah), and to be honest I don’t hate it. I’m by no means living my life how a single person should live their life, and I’m attempting to tackle that in my own way but that’s not really what this blog is about. This blog is really about sorting out and getting my life in order before that and probably doing a lot of venting to make myself feel better and put my mind at ease a bit.

The first thing I really want to rant about, is being sick of people’s shit. That doesn’t sound as bad as it is. Like yeah I get everyone has problems, heck I’m probably one of the best people to be considerate of that. But once you’ve been mugged off (yes I’ve been watching Geordie shore, so I’m picking up the lingo of a cool Newcastle kid) anyway, once you’ve been mugged off by one friend and someone points it out, it’s only then when you realise it and then in turn see how everyone else has in their own way followed suit.

I mean yeah I understand I’m not the best friend in the world, I cancel plans due to anxiety issues and I won’t always let on. But fuck me, not to toot my own horn but I remember details no one else will bother, I am one of the most loyal and considerate people you could ever meet. Given the chance I will open up as much as possible to anyone that has the time, and will listen and help in any way I can in return. But I’m getting to the point where I really don’t see the point. I don’t want to stop being the way I am because I think it’s a good thing. I mean I’ve already got close to the point where I don’t really see the point in letting any relationships come close to me. But when friends drop you, and start being short with you and ignoring you…what the hell is the actually point. People even do it without realising it.

I think this has been building up inside me for a while now and I’m just done. I don’t even know what else to say. Fuck it.

“Maybe it’s not life that sucks. Maybe it’s just the people you let in your life that suck.” – Unknown

 

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🌟Santa isn’t….🌟

Ok SPOILER ALERT!! If you don’t want me to ruin Christmas for you do NOT read on!

For the risky people out there who chose to read on I may have some sad news for you…Santa Isn’t real. I’m sorry to tell you that. Unless you already knew of course, in which case I’m sorry for your loss of Christmas spirit that you had as a child.

I don’t really remember when I found out Santa wasn’t real. I think it just happened gradually. There wasn’t a big reveal…not that I remember anyway. I think i still put food out for him even after I knew he wasn’t real too, Im not entirely sure why…I must have still believed in reindeers, or maybe I thought my parents would appreciate the food left on the side overnight. Either way I did it.

I liked the idea of santa. Getting rewards for being a good human being, but in reality its just a way for our parents to protect us from the harsh reality that comes later on in life. The money problems that comes with bills and lifestyles, but still scraping to buy gifts for other to show our appreciation. And that my friends is growing up…

Anyway, hope you’ve all wrote your letters to Santa this year 😉

IOS9 

Ok so like many others, I am indeed an apple user. And seen as I haven’t been living under a rock I knew that there was an update due yesterday, but this wasn’t the exciting part. The exciting part for me was the emojis. I am an over active emoji user😁💀😂😏💩… so to learn new emojis were on the way was brilliant! Until of course I did the update…and they were nowhere to be seen. 😓

Now I probably missed the memo but I read nowhere and I repeat nowhere that the new emojis wouldn’t be included 😐 not cool Apple! Not cool! 😑 Because of this I went googling to find out why this was.

The answer: these new emojis will actually be included in the next update which is expected in November.

How disappointing! I mean overall I am happy with the layout and changes that come with the update but still…it was a sad day for Apple users everywhere yesterday. 👷🏽

What I miss…

Like most university students I moved away from home. This was after I stayed at home and travelled for the first year, and then decided it wasn’t for me. But for the two years that I lived in Sheffield, I honestly loved it. I loved having my own space, with my own freedom to do whatever I wanted no matter what time it was. I mean don’t get me wrong, I did miss seeing my family everyday…but I had so much more independence. I can even say I enjoyed being able to do my own washing…how weird is that?

I even fell in love with Sheffield itself. It had so much to offer than my hometown. Better jobs, better atmosphere, better theatres, everything. In a way because I’ve returned home now, I yearn for this freedom I had never experienced before going to university. I’d love to move out again no matter where I moved to…but it’s a bit hard when you’re attempting to save for other things like travelling, not to mention having to fix a broken car. In some ways I feel like my life’s on hold a bit…but sacrifices must be made I guess.

A reason why I love films…

One thing that becomes more and more clearer over the many years of watching films, is that films can unmask you. I’m not talking about the world knowing the truth about my life as batman… I’m talking more about emotions.

In my life so far I’d like to think I’ve covered majority, if not all of the girly RomComs out there. And let’s face it a RomCom doesn’t seem complete with a tear jerking moment in it, that reduces you to a blubbering mess in a matter of seconds. And that’s exactly the moment I’m talking about.

In a way because I love films so much I’d like to think there’s a lot of psychology behind the whole process, from the film you choose, to the ‘moment of impact’. Your emotions can make you do things subconsciously before you even realise what’s happening. So normally if i choose a lovey dovey film it’s either because I want to have the faith ‘the one’ is out there and is coming for me…or it’s because I’m having mental problems with people in my life…and by mental problems I normally mean me overthinking all of the wrong things.

But in a way that’s the beauty of these films. It can take your mind off the rest of the world, but at the same time also make you realise one of two things…either your a complete mess right now and you need to get your shit together. Or it can make everything seem so much clearer. Like you’ve just run into a brick wall with all the answers on.

Either way I have to admit I do enjoy both sides of it, sometimes everyone needs a little four hour cry to wake themselves up to push in the right direction…don’t they?

Moving Onwards and Upwards

For a few months now I’ve been waiting for something to happen at work…a promotion. But in life, we don’t always get what we think we are going to get. In a way I’m angry about that. Not because I lost out on the opportunity, but because it held me back from doing other things that would have made me happier. By now if I had left this job when I had the chance, I could have probably already saved up some money I needed to go travelling. Which of course is annoying. Never the less, eventually we always end up on the road we belong on…That road for me is travelling, and creating.

In a way I’m glad this happened, because after all everything is a learning experience. I have more skills now then what I did. I had more time to think things over in terms of where I want to go. I also had more time to realise that I have other options that I didn’t even know existed. So there are ups and downs to the situation I’ve found myself in.

Anyway to kickstart my ‘new lease of life’ as I’m calling it. I have decided I am opening up my own horizons; and the first step of this is by claiming I am a photographer. Just to say I am being truthful when doing so…I know I said claiming but that’s just because I know I’m nowhere near as professional as those who are actual photographers. I’ve set up a new instagram page soley for this purpose, and also a Facebook page so I will leave links if anyone’s interested. That’s all for now 🙂 I just needed a little rant and a boost.

P.S I used to be just a man…now I am a man with a plan!

P.P.S (Just for clarification I am in fact a woman) 🙂

FaceBook: https://www.facebook.com/NJOramPhotography

Instagram: njo_photography

Finding your way back…

Not to get philosophical but sometimes in life you lose your way on the dusty path of life. No matter what happens to get you there, in the end you always have to attempt to pick yourself up before you get suffocated by the world. In the beginning it will always seem impossible, but you just have to keep trying. In my experience there are a few things to bare in mind while trying to find your way back…

1. Don’t do it alone – In my opinion this is the most important. The easiest thing in your mind will be to block everyone out, but the easiest option is rarely the best option. You will always have people around you who will care about you. No matter how much you try to push them away the most loyal friends and family will be there for you especially when times are hard. So just speak your mind. A problem shared, is normally a problem halved and talking really helps. If you aren’t comfortable talking to a person then try a pet. After all, animals are the best listeners.

2. Do things that make you happy – Now this step doesn’t work for everyone. In some cases when people lose their way, they lose their way with everything. People, hobbies, everything they ever knew. The only thing you can do is try. Try and gain back the love and happiness you felt by doing certain things. So whether its a sport you used to be involved in, or just taking a simple stroll. Attempt to ease yourself back into it a bit at a time and maybe this will contribute to finding your way back.

3. Try exploring new things – this may be an alternative to number two or it may be an add on. When something serious happens to make you lose your way, you may find it best to leave the old you behind and take an opportunity to reinvent yourself. Even branch out to try something you’ve always wanted to, but always had an excuse not to. You should try. Maybe not all at once but be as open minded as possible, as you never know what can happen and surprise you.

4. A good diet – I  know this seems unnecessary but as people say if you look after your body, it will look after you. It has been proven by a few studies that eating more healthily can instantly put you in a better mood due to a increase in serotonin levels. This suggests that if you eat better foods it may give you more motivation to get back out there, and into the world a day at a time.  This may not be true for you…but you’ll never know unless you try. So if you stopped eating, start again. Or if your just eating junk food, stop and go get some real food which will probably also work out cheaper too.

5.Exercise – Now this is probably the last thing on your mind out of them all, but it could also be one of the most important. Although exercise may seem boring and tiring, after a while you will begin to see the benefits of it. Also the exercise you do doesn’t have to be strenuous. It could just be a bit of yoga for as little at 15 minutes a day. Anything really that will be useful to you. This won’t only keep you busy, but it can motivate you to do more and also help you get you fitter as you go along which is always a benefit.

The final thing I would suggest is to find a space of your own. This doesn’t mean move out of your family home or wherever your living. This could be a space anywhere, whether its big or small (it could even be a cupboard under the stairs). The main reason for having your own space is just so you have somewhere to go if the world begins to get too much again. Preferable it would be somewhere with a good view to put things into perspective, so maybe not under the stairs after all. Overall just remember there are a lot of problems in the world and a lot of people trying to fight them, but you really don’t have to do it alone.

“No life is a waste, the only time we waste is the time we spend thinking we’re alone.” – Mitch Albom, The Five People You Meet In Heaven.