Ryan Gosling once told me…

Okay so he didn’t literally tell me this…he rather said it through his character on the film The Notebook…but it still applies!!! He said,

“You can’t live your life for other people. You’ve got to do what’s right for you, even if it hurts some people you love.”

This is something I think a lot of people need to hear. As humans we spend a lot of time not enjoying life as we are trying to please other people around us. Maybe that’s by doing a job you don’t love, living somewhere you don’t love, or the worst one being with someone you don’t love. No matter what the situation, it can apply. For me this is travelling, as I’ve said over and over again. I could get a better job, be on more money, eventually move out, get a better car, and overall a better life. But right now…that isn’t for me (as silly as that sounds).

I want to get out into the world and explore every inch of it, or at least as much as I can. I need to do that for me. I need to experience it. I need to be free…at least for a while. Sometimes we get a little too wrapped up in what we are ‘supposed‘ to do, and not what we ‘want‘ to do. So my aim with this post is to attempt to encourage anyone reading to do what’s right for you! You have your whole life to please other people, but right now “do you, for you”.

WARNING! New Driver Alert!

I’ve been driving just over a month now, and I’m finally realising that what people said was actually true. You don’t really gain driving experience until after you pass your test. Sure you can know how to drive correctly. Pushing all the right buttons, at the right times. Checking your mirrors for overtaking, or just for people constantly on your ass. But once you’re in a car all by yourself, with no one talking in your ear…then and only then you realise what driving is really like.

I’m going to be honest with you the first month after passing my test was pretty scary. The first hiccup was the car. It’s an old car, with a difficult biting point. One which took the whole first month to actual master to some degree and understand what to do and when to do it. This led to my first embarrassing moment of being stuck on a tiny hill with no way of getting up it (at least no way for a new driver in an old car). I ended up having to reverse back down it after letting three cars go around me. Not the nicest way to ease myself into driving alone.

The second hiccup was lanes on new roads. I tried to push myself as fast as possible as I was already behind a lot of my friends in the ‘art’ of knowing how to drive. So I went onto roads I’d never driven on before in my lessons to get to the closest shopping centre that was near my home. Ahh which leads us onto embarrassing moment number two. Being stuck at the front of a queue trying to change lanes at the last-minute isn’t great. And with the number of annoyed drivers around you, staring at you in a despising way it doesn’t seem to make you feel better either. Luckily no one knew me.

The third hiccup was motorways. Now this has to be the worst thing so far. I mean overall it is just a straight route. The only thing that worries me is that the faster you go, obviously the worse off you be in an accident. Which is why I do my best to do everything right when I’m on a motorway. Abide by the speed limit, keep the right distance from other cars, and take care while changing lanes. But when a massive lorry decides to move over in front of me in the slow lane, after a late indication and leaving around about a 5 inch gap, it makes it a bit harder. And this is my issue. I can do my best to do everything right on a motorway, but I can’t control other people’s actions…and let’s face it…there’s some right idiots out there!

Ahh on the upside, I am loving being able to drive. The freedom, the opportunity, the control. I can go anywhere, whenever I want. So I guess this is the start of my life as a roadtripper…lets see where I end up…

Innovation over Creativity

“Creativity is thinking up new things. Innovation is doing new things.”

— Theodore Levitt

In my opinion I think I’m quite creative. I’m creative in the sense I can make things, write things and maybe even see things others wouldn’t. However what I do lack majority of the time is Innovation. You see, I may notice opportunities where creativity is needed but then I fail to act upon them. So to state the obvious it holds me back…quite a lot.

I’m still trying to work on my new years resolutions and one of them was to improve myself. I’ve always thought that the first step to improvement was noticing the issues and this is one of them. Soooooo now I just need to work on it.  In the next few months I hope to start my own YouTube channel, I already have the layout for it and also some video ideas. But there’s one thing stopping me. What to upload for my first video?

I had a couple of ideas, one of them being a thirty-second video of me pretending to do a tutorial of how to eat a starburst with a funny accent, but then my mind starts thinking. What will people think? This will be their first impression of me, and I don’t want to mess up already. Ahh the issues of having a woman brain.

Overall I just want to start doing things, not just dreaming of them. So I think I’m just going to set a deadline to upload the first video and go from there. If all else fails the first videos that go up will be vlogs from my second trip to Iceland. I’ll just have to see how it goes…fingers crossed.

To die in a dream…

A few nights ago…I had a dream.

Now unlike majority of my dreams, this one had a historical background… It was set in Nazi Germany. Now, I love history but the bad thing about this, was that I was a Jew.

The dream began underground, in a similar setting to the London Underground except it was darker and unkept. I was surrounded by loads of other Jews, all of different ages showing a range of emotions. We began being led to what seemed to be two elevator shafts in which groups of Jews were being crammed into. Once we were in the lift we were then made to watch a propaganda movie to distract us, while the lift either moved upwards to a few more days of freedom or down to a dreaded gas chamber.

While waiting anxiously, the propaganda film came to an end and the lift doors began to open. Thankfully the lift had gone up to ‘freedom’, we all scuttled out like rats in a sewer, but the worst was not over. We followed the damp corridor down towards the exit, when from the distance I noticed that the next section, which was similar to airport security where the Nazi’s required a barcode which was imbedded into the skin of Jews.

I looked down at my arms, searching for a barcode. I couldn’t find one, I began to panic thinking that I would never escape back out into the real world without one. I  looked around to see if anyone could help me to get a barcode, failing that I began to run searching for an alternate exit…and that’s when I realised I was beginning to be chased by Nazi’s with guns trying to shoot me.

In that moment I then realised that I was in a dream…but I couldn’t wake myself up and bring myself out of it. I began to think to myself, what if i get shot right now? What if I die and can’t return back to reality. What if my body goes into some sort of coma due to my mind being killed in my imagination? Is that even possible?

All I know is that dreams are weird, and when they get weird my thought process gets weird… nevertheless I still enjoy dreaming…

Dream Slut…

So in every relationship there are funny moments…yesterday I realised one of mine.

Now before I go ahead with this post I’d just like to say, I wouldn’t normally let anyone get away with calling me a slut…but on this occasion I’ll let it slide (although I shall begin planning my revenge).

I was talking to my boyfriend in the car and happened to mention about a dream I had the previous night where I slept with a YouTuber. You may think why would I tell him that? That reason being because I thought he would find this funny seen as he creates videos online too, and we both aspire to become YouTubers…however it appears I was wrong.

Now I admit this isn’t the first time I’ve willingly slept with someone in a dream…or even told him about it. And I say willingly because in a previous post I mentioned I occasionally have the ability to realise I’m in a dream and therefore can adapt it to suit me. Surprisingly he can also do the same. So because of that little fact, he felt it was acceptable to give this ‘twatish’ response…

He claimed that he also had a similar dream the previous night where a young lady had began to come onto him in a club, and lure him into her boudoir. However being the chivalrous and noble gentleman he is, he rejected her by informing her he had a girlfriend. Unlike and I quote! “The dream slut” he had in his car…

Within minutes the car we were travelling in became a comical couples courtroom, in which we were both fighting our sides of who was the better partner. Of course no one won as it was all built on sarcasm, but the overall point to be made here in this otherwise pointless blog post is simply…don’t take life too seriously. Funny little moments in relationships are the best, and you can always look back on them to brighten your day.

“People are only mean when they are threatened.” – Mitch Albom, Tuesdays With Morrie.

August In London

I’ve been to London many times before. Many times this year even. But this time was different…for a number of reasons.

One I was going with someone I’d never been with before, two I was spending a lot of the time travelling around on my own on the tube, and three it was a bit more spontaneous. Now I’ll begin with the last point. I am a planner. I write stuff down, I circle places I’m going, I make a note of which tube lines and tube stations and even roughly how long it would take me to get there. I don’t know why…maybe its how I’m brought up. But I have to say wandering around London with nowhere to go and nothing really in mind to do was…nice. Watching all the busy people rush past with places to be and a time to be there for, it’s as if I was in slow motion as life was speeding past. In a way that for me was relaxing. I guess this is the first step of me trying to get out of planner mode…or at least be a little bit more flexible.

Now onto the travelling alone section. I’m used to travelling alone. I do it a lot at home, on the bus, on trains or even just walking. But London. To point out the obvious London is massive. Meaning it’s very VERY easy to get lost, and with me only being small it makes it even easier. I mean on one hand I was excited to go to London just to disappear into the crowds, lose myself a bit. But in reality getting lost in London isn’t something I planned on doing. The scary bit for me wasn’t the walking around. The fear was the underground. I’ve seen ‘The Creep’ and I am open to the possibilities of monsters that live down there (even though it is a bit far fetched) so travelling alone was worrying at times. On the serious side of things though I saw the London Bombings back in 2005 and being down there with no reception and no way of telling someone I love them in the last few minutes is of course terrifying to anyone who takes the time to think about it. Maybe it’s because I’m a girl. I mean we all must know by now majority of girls think way too into things. But still you have to be prepared for the worst, otherwise you will panic if it ever did happen.

To go back to the first point I made about why this time was different. Like I said I went with someone I’d never been with before. I think this was the most important part of what made the trip as good as it was.

“Most of us all walk around as if we’re sleepwalking. We really don’t experience the world fully, because we’re half-asleep, doing things we automatically think we have to do.” – Mitch Albom, Tuesdays with Morrie.